Never an Absolution
by Cassiopia
Summary: Lily and James were always at odds - until a broken promise and an unexpected kiss leave them wondering just how they really feel


NEVER AN ABSOLUTION  
  
Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling and owned all this, I'd be SOOO much richer than I am now!  
  
CHAPTER ONE - PINK SMOKE  
  
"I hate James Potter." It was a valid promise if Remus had ever heard one. Yet he heard it quite often from this particular person, it which case the vow was more of a nuisance than anything else.  
  
"I know," Remus said, not looking up from his book. It seemed like whenever he got a chance to read quietly in the common room, which wasn't often, someone (usually a marauder) always found a way to interrupt him. Apparently today was no exception. Giving in, Remus put down his book and looked up to meet Lily's enraged gaze.  
  
"What did he do this time?"  
  
"Argh!" Lily stomped over to the armchair across from Remus and sat down huffily. For a moment she didn't look at him and instead sat muttering things to herself; "Stupid showoff with his snitch always finding a way to screw with me, thinks he can date me- as if I would ever give him a chance, and now Patrick probably thinks I'm completely mad, that good-for- nothing piece of-"  
  
"Are you going to tell me, or can I keep on reading my book?" Remus held up the paperback hopefully.  
  
"That no good friend of yours just completely ruined my chances with that Ravenclaw fellow I was telling you about!" Lily said in response. Remus shook his head sympathetically.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well I was down in the library looking for a book that could help with the History of Magic essay that Professor Binns gave us, when I happened to notice Patrick sitting at a table working on his Arithmancy. So I went over to talk to him when James walks in and-"  
  
BANG. The portrait flung open and smacked against the wall outside the common room, a soaking wet James standing silhouetted in the doorway.  
  
"Evans!"  
  
Lily jumped up from the chair, quickly forgetting her conversation with Remus.  
  
"Potter you leave me alone, you've done enough damage for one night!" Lily turned to storm off to her dormitory, but James wasn't through.  
  
"I'VE done enough damage? I was only trying to help, you didn't have to go and hex me in front of everybody!"  
  
"Oh, SORRY! Did I ruin your perfect image? GOOD! Maybe you'll be a little less cocky now-"  
  
"What is it with you! Why don't you get it? All I did was ask you on a date and-"  
  
"OH! Is THAT what you were trying to get at with all of that snitch chasing and those rude comments? Gee, I didn't know. In that case, of COURSE I'll go out with you." Lily stood with her hands sarcastically on her hips, her green eyes burning with rage. James looked hopeful.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"NO!" Lily considered crossing the room to give him a good smack across the face, but decided she'd rather just have him out of her sight as soon as possible. Turning, she stomped towards the staircase to the girls dormitories.  
  
James looked defeated for a fraction of a second before shaking his head and grinning, turning to join his friend in the armchairs.  
  
"I think she likes me," James said after a brief moment. Remus snorted and picked up his book, knowing that he wouldn't get any farther than a few more sentences before James whisked his attention away.  
  
"What am I doing wrong?"  
  
Sighing, Remus put down the book and gave James a once-over.  
  
"Well for starters, I don't think girls like it much when guys walk around soaking wet. Gives you a doggish look." Remus grinned.  
  
"She hexed me!" James defended himself, ruffling his hair with his hand. As he did so, a million drops of water flew in every direction, quite like when a dog shakes his fur out.  
  
"So I see," Remus said.  
  
"I really don't get it. I try to be nice to her, but-"  
  
"Prongs, you've got a lot of learning to do about women. First of all she's been telling you for years exactly what she thinks is wrong about you - granted, I don't think she meant it as a way of telling you how to woo her - but maybe you should start there."  
  
James looked thoughtful. "Okay, like how?"  
  
"Like she thinks you're cocky for one thing."  
  
"I'm not cocky!" James looked outraged. Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"All right then, how about holding a conversation with her in which you only as her questions about herself."  
  
"But- but why? Why do I care?!"  
  
"There you have it, then," Remus said. James sighed exasperatedly.  
  
"All right," James said after a moment. "I'll try that."  
  
Remus nodded, "Good." He picked up his book.  
  
Leaning back in his chair, James considered what had just happened with Lily. He probably shouldn't have been so forward with her in the library- or so rude to that Patrick person - but he was pretty dull - looking anyway, so maybe it didn't matter.  
  
"Moony?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think she fancies that Patrick boy?"  
  
"What will you do to him if I answer yes?"  
  
James stood restlessly, preparing to leave, but not before giving Remus a look of mock indignancy accompanied with a killer smile.  
  
"Come now, Moony, you don't really think I'd do anything, do you?" he asked in a phony voice. Remus laughed.  
  
"I think it doesn't matter whether she does or doesn't," Remus said as James headed up to their dormitory. "You've just got to be nicer to her, and you've got a shot."  
  
With that happy thought in mind, James ascended the stairs to change into some dry robes and spend some nice quality time with his bed, asleep.  
  
************************  
  
James had his plan all worked out by the next morning. After Herbology he would walk Lily to her next class, keeping the conversation completely focused on her. It was fool-proof, so of course, he messed it up.  
  
"Oy, Lily!" James called as the students began filing out after their lesson. "Meet you in Divination," he told the marauders quickly, and ran to catch up with Lily.  
  
"What?" Lily spun around, a hand on one hip.  
  
"Erm- how's it going?" James asked. Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well, let's see, I failed my History of Magic test that was based off of that essay because I didn't get the BOOK I needed-" here she gave James a meaningful look - "I almost cut my finger in Herbology and now you're apparently going to start a conversation with me. I dunno, how well do you think I'm going?"  
  
James shrugged, "Not too bad?"  
  
Sighing, Lily turned around and pushed her way through the crowd of people before them. James hurried after her.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, so you aren't that good. Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"You can leave me alone," she suggested hopefully, careful not to make any contact, visually or otherwise, with James as they were shoved together by the moving crowd.  
  
"Besides that," James waved a hand dismissively.  
  
"Then no, probably not," Lily said, in a tone that implied it was a stupid question. That didn't throw James, though. He was determined to have a good conversation with her.  
  
"So what are you planning on for the holidays?" he asked, bringing up the most common topic amongst the students. Way to look different and interesting.  
  
"Depends, what are you doing?" she sounded genuinely interested.  
  
"Staying here," James said happily. Lily looked thoughtful.  
  
"Then I'm going home."  
  
"That isn't very nice."  
  
"It's the truth."  
  
Stopping himself from screaming, James swallowed his growing frustration and said, "So, what are you thinking of after Hogwarts?"  
  
"Well, marrying Patrick had been in my plans until yesterday-"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
For a moment the two of them walked in silence, then Lily asked, "So what's with all the questions about me? This must be the longest you've ever gone without being focused entirely on you."  
  
James stopped, angry, taking hold of Lily's arm and forcing her to stop as he did so. The mob continued on around them.  
  
"Let go," Lily said, looking at James with significant hate in her eyes. James looked just as squarely back.  
  
"Why do you do this? I'm trying to be nice to you and all you do is snap off at me," James looked upset, but he also let go of Lily's arm.  
  
"James, having a decent conversation with me is not the way to get me to date you. You've got to do way more than be nice to me."  
  
"I - what- you - argh! What am I supposed to do? And who said I was trying to get with you? I just wanted to have a nice conversation!" James pushed his hand irritably through his crazy black hair.  
  
"Well first of all, you can stop running your hand through your hair and trying to look cool," Lily said, ignoring his claims to innocent small talk. "Second of all, you can not talk to me for a while." She looked at him hatefully a moment.  
  
"Fine," James said, still angry with her. "Fine, I won't talk to you then." Lily shrugged, then walked a bit faster, trying to find her friends in the crowd of people.  
  
"Just don't think we have any chance of being a couple after this!" James shouted after her. A few of the girls nearby turned quickly, hoping to catch a glimpse of the unfortunate female whom James had just been shouting at. Although it was unlucky, it was better her than them.  
  
"That went well," Sirius commented, stepping up next to James with a grin.  
  
"Shove off," James demanded. Sirius laughed.  
  
"You need some female help," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Serious help."  
  
"What I need is for Lily to not hate me," James said, staring into the crowd, hoping for a glimpse of auburn hair. "And she's not making it easy."  
  
Sirius gasped, a look of mock horror and surprise crossing his face. When he spoke his tone was loud and disbelieving, in an attempt to attract attention.  
  
"James Potter! Have you given up on your all-time love, the one girl you've ever truly liked, the future mother of your-"  
  
"No! And shut it, would you?" James looked around desperately, hoping no one heard the confession of James's feelings. Sirius just laughed and laughed.  
  
"Oh lighten up," he said, as they neared the divination classroom. "She'll come around eventually."  
  
"Of course she will," James puffed up his chest, trying to look important and coming off rather comical. Sirius rolled his eyes and slapped his friend on the back.  
  
"Keep up that good attitude, you're gonna need it for the next three hours."  
  
"Ugh," James de-puffed, looking forlornly up the ladder towards the divination room. "I forgot we've got double today."  
  
"Cheer up, mate, more time to make problems," Sirius grinned, removing a small, clear bottle from his pocket. James could see a frothy turquoise potion bubbling inside. "Fancy a bit of tampering with the tea before leaf readings?"  
  
In response, James snatched the bottle and hurried up the ladder, reaching his seat in the far back corner table just as the Professor walked in. In a few moments the drone of her voice began to lull the class into a lazy sleep.  
  
Not Sirius, though. He'd "accidentally" dropped the potion, bottle and all, into the large teapot standing by the door, steaming with tea and leaves ready to be used for reading the future. Any moment now a few wisps of the thick steam would begin to twist into letters, forming the inevitable "futures" of the students.  
  
"-to page 25 in your books, please, and follow the directions as effectively as you ca- wha- what is going on?" the professor demanded, turning her head wildly in all directions. In front of her face at the front of the room thick pink smoke was curling into script letters, spelling, "Professor Rowlands will be discovered as a fake."  
  
The class burst into laughter, suddenly awake and more attentive than they had ever been in that class. In a few moments the words changed, Professor Rowlands running about in the background trying to open windows to air the smoke out.  
  
"Professor McGonagall visits Professor Niall's room nightly," the words spelled, and the class broke into peals of laughter again, a few nearly falling off of their chairs.  
  
"Peter Pettigrew still wets the bed."  
  
Peter shrunk down in his chair at the back of the room, glaring at the people laughing around him. He had a feeling one of the marauders had done this, and they would be sorry when he figured out which one. At least, he liked to pretend that's how it would work.  
  
Professor Rowlands had run from the room to get Professor Flitwick to undo what she thought was a charm on her precious teapot moments ago, but the class was held too captivated by the tellings of the tea smoke to notice their chance at escape.  
  
"Lily Evans likes James Potter."  
  
"WHAT?" an outraged voice erupted from the far right corner of the room as the girls at her table and throughout the room began giggling loudly. "That's not true!"  
  
"Oh Lily," Sirius shook his head sadly, the laughter quieting a bit as he spoke. "You know that smoke divination is one of the most reliable sources of information. Or haven't you been paying attention in class?"  
  
This set everyone off again, bent over in laughter. Everyone, that is, except Lily and James. James was sitting in the back with Sirius, at a table next to Peter and Remus. His cheeks flushed brightly at Lily's reaction, and he was torn between thinking she got what she deserved for being so rude and being horribly angry with Sirius for embarrassing her.  
  
The smoke began dying away, for it was only a vial of the potion that had been dropped into the tea, and it suddenly dawned on the students that their professor was gone. So gathering up their books, one by one they began to slip out of the room, at first carefully and then finally just walking right out.  
  
Lily passed James as he was gathering up his books and hissed, "I know you did this, Potter, and you're going to be sorry."  
  
James stood watching her as she descended the ladder with her friends, a look of disbelief on his face. How could she think he would be that cruel?  
  
But despite the fact that James knew his chances were pretty much shot to hell, he couldn't help but remember how embarrassed Lily had looked when the smoke had accused her. Was it possible she actually liked him? He knew it wasn't, but that still didn't stop him from happily making his way back to the common room with the Marauders, an extra hour of unplanned free time stretched out before him.  
  
*********************** A/N: Good? Bad? I'm not sure how often this will be updated, because I am currently working on two other fics which I am having huge writers block on, but check back every once and a while! Don't forget to review! (  
  
Luv, Cassi~ 


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